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So I figured I’d create a handy how-to list, which will hopefully be helpful to those ready to pop on out of the fat closet, or who already have but aren’t having much success.

This is written in a pretty heteronormative manner, which I apologize for, but the experiences I’m most familiar with are men trying to chase women here. Mentioning this first because it’s SUPER important, and it’s the first thing guys tend to mess up on.

Before I met him, people warned me — both implicitly and outright — that because I opted to only date the men I found attractive (novel idea, right?

), that I was a "superficial fat chick." They said if a guy was attracted to me, I should be grateful! I kept my standards high started dating a Dwyane Wade look-a-like. What if their emotional connection and understanding of each other is breathtaking? These crazy myths will have us thinking we don’t "match” with certain people even if they’re interested in us — what does that even mean?

None of us have a hard time getting dates, finding love, or sex, whatever it is we happen to be looking for.

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